Whoops! We're In Big Trouble Now
Whoops!
We’re In Big
Trouble Now
Published by Implode Publishing Ltd
© Implode Publishing Ltd 2018
The right of Adele Abbott to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved, worldwide. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.
The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, dead or alive, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 1
“I hate Mondays.” Dorothy stared into her empty coffee cup, willing it to refill itself.
“Me too.” Neil yawned. “I don’t understand those people who win the lottery, but then carry on working. If I won it, I’d throw my job in the same day.”
“You don’t even do the lottery,” Dorothy said.
“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” Susan was in the kitchen, trying to decide between cornflakes and shredded wheat. “Why don’t the four of us form a syndicate and do the lottery together?”
“I’d be up for that.” Neil walked over to join Susan. “I could buy the ticket every week.”
“Do you really think I’m going to trust you with my money?” Dorothy said. “If you do, you’re even dumber than you look. And, trust me, that’s saying something.”
“That’s a bit harsh.” Susan poured herself some cornflakes.
“If you’re happy to trust Neil with your cash, go ahead and knock yourself out. He’s not getting his hands on mine.” Neil’s attempt to con them over the money to redecorate the apartment was obviously still fresh in Dorothy’s mind.
“A little bird tells me that you’re going on a date with Parrot Man.” Neil grinned.
Dorothy’s cheeks flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and anger. “Who told you that?”
“I couldn’t possibly reveal my sources.”
“You don’t need to. I’ll kill Molly when I get to work. And, for your information, it isn’t a date.”
“What is it then?”
“It’s—err—an arrangement.”
“I see. And what exactly is this so-called arrangement?”
There were times, and this was one of them, when Dorothy could have gleefully ripped open Neil’s throat and watched him bleed out.
“Donny’s been pestering me to go out with him for ages, so to put an end to it once and for all, I’ve agreed to have dinner with him. Just the once. After that, he’s promised never to ask me out again.”
“What if you find you enjoy his company?” Susan said.
“I won’t. It’s a once-only deal, and a small price to pay if it gets him off my back.”
“That’s a pity.” Neil stuck two slices of bread in the toaster. “You and Parrot Man would make a lovely couple.”
“Talking of couples, Neil,” Dorothy said. “How did your date go the other night?”
“It was okay. Kim was very nice, but I don’t think we’re compatible.”
“That’s funny because I heard it was a rather grim affair.”
Neil’s face fell. He hadn’t planned on telling his flatmates that his date, Kim, had turned out to be a grim reaper, but Dorothy obviously knew. That could mean only one thing: Debs must have betrayed him. He’d have words with that little traitor when he got to work. “Not at all. It was a perfectly pleasant evening.”
“I hope you treated her well.” Dorothy was now on a roll. “Because if you didn’t, you know what they say: you’ll reap what you sow.”
“Are you going to see Jade again, Charlie?” Neil desperately wanted to change the subject.
“We haven’t arranged anything yet, but I hope so. It seemed to go well when she came over for dinner.”
“What about you, Susan?” Dorothy said. “How’s that nutter you’ve been hanging around with?”
Susan knew that Dorothy was trying to push her buttons, but she had no intention of rising to the bait.
“You mean Greg, I assume? Like I said the other day, he and I are going to be working together when time permits.”
“On your quest to uncover supernatural creatures? You do realise that people will label you a nutter too, don’t you?”
“I’ve never been worried about what people think of me, and besides, I intend to follow the evidence and see where it leads.”
“And what kind of evidence do you and Greggy Boy have so far?”
“Nothing that would stand up in court, but it’s early days. I’m curious, Dorothy, why are you so concerned about my interest in the supernatural?”
“I’m not. I’m just looking out for you. I wouldn’t want anyone thinking you’re some kind of headcase.”
“That’s very sweet of you, but I can look after myself, thanks.”
***
Later, in his bedroom, Neil was wrestling with the problem of what to do about Mad Maggie. Ever since he and Socky had fallen out, she’d had the run of Neil’s bedroom. It wasn’t too bad in the daytime because she rarely showed her ugly face, but night times were a nightmare. He was scared to go to sleep for fear of what she might do to him while he slept. His rational mind told him that a ghost couldn’t actually hurt him, but that did little to put him at ease. The sight of her hovering over his bed, with those shoelaces twisted around her fingers, gave him a serious case of the creeps.
But, this morning, while he and Dorothy had been sparring, he’d come up with an idea of how he could protect himself. He fired up his laptop and ran a search. Five minutes later, he’d found exactly what he was looking for, and it wasn’t as expensive as he’d expected.
“Neil, I’m sorry to trouble you.” Susan came into his bedroom.
He could have kicked himself for not having closed the door behind him. It was too late now—he was halfway through paying for the order, so he couldn’t just close his laptop.
“Mosquito nets?” Susan said.
“Err—yeah.”
“I’ve never seen a mosquito in Washbridge.”
“That doesn’t mean there aren’t any. It’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“O—kay? Anyway, I wondered if I could scrounge a lift with you this morning? My car is being collected for a service later.”
“Sure, no problem.”
“Thanks.”
Back in the lounge, Susan went to sit with Charlie on the sofa.
“Has Neil always been so paranoid?” she said.
“How do you mean?”
“Just now, I found him ordering a mosquito net.”
“Why?”
“He insists it’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“I worry about him sometimes.”
“Worry about who?” Dorothy appeared from her bedroom.
“Neil,” Susan said in a hushed voice. “I just saw him ordering a mosquito net.”
“He’s off his head.”
“Who is?” Neil came into the lou
nge.
“You are.” Dorothy grinned. “Susan just told us about the mosquito nets.”
Susan could have strangled Dorothy.
“Thanks very much, Susan.” Neil glared at her.
“Sorry, Neil, but you have to admit it is rather strange.”
“You’ll all be laughing on the other side of your face when I’m the only one in here who isn’t covered in mosquito bites.”
***
Neil was giving his three flatmates a lift to Washbridge. Susan, who was sitting next to him, still felt a little guilty at having told the others about the mosquito net. Dorothy and Charlie, who were seated in the back, did not share her guilt.
“Have you considered buying scorpion traps, Neil?” Dorothy said. “I hear they’re rampant around here.”
“Don’t forget the Huntsman spiders.” Charlie chuckled.
“Do you two want to walk the rest of the way? It can be arranged.”
“We’re only messing with you, mate.” Charlie managed to stifle a laugh.
Just then, the car seemed to stutter before coming to a halt at the side of the road.
“There’s no need for this, Neil,” Dorothy said. “Can’t you take a joke?”
“I didn’t make the car stop.” Neil pumped the accelerator. “There’s something wrong.”
“Do you have petrol?” Charlie leaned forward to get a better look at the dashboard.
“Yes, Charlie, I have petrol.”
Neil tried the ignition a few more times, but it was dead.
“What are we supposed to do now?” Dorothy said.
“Get out and walk,” Neil snapped.
“It’s miles from here.”
“What do you expect me to do?”
“Can’t you call roadside rescue?”
“I cancelled my membership.”
“Why would you do that?”
“The monthly fee kept going up, and I’ve never needed to call them out before.”
“Come on, Charlie.” Dorothy nudged him. “There’s a bus stop just up the road.”
“Do you want me to stay with you and help?” Charlie offered.
“There’s nothing you can do. I’ll have to call a local garage. One of my friends works in one around here somewhere. I’ll give him a call.”
Susan got out and joined the other two.
“See you later, Neil. Good luck.”
“It’s his own fault,” Dorothy said, as the three of them waited at the bus stop. “He never has that rust heap serviced.”
Charlie checked his watch. “If the bus doesn’t get here soon, I might be out of a job by tonight.”
“Surely, if you explain the circumstances, your boss will understand,” Susan said.
“I doubt it. Draycott will think I’m lying.”
“When I get to work, the first thing I’m going to do is send Molly for a sausage cob.” Dorothy looked down the road, but there was still no sign of the bus. “I’m starving.”
“If Neil’s car is going to be off the road for some time, I’ll be able to give you two a lift in the mornings,” Susan offered. “The only trouble is that I don’t know from day to day what time I’ll be going in.”
“Thanks, Susan,” Charlie said.
Dorothy grunted something, and then pointed. “The bus is here. It had better not be full.”
***
When Dorothy eventually arrived at the bookshop, she found Molly, and Nobby from Nerd Central, deep in conversation. Nobby was all wide-eyed, and practically drooling as he hung on Molly’s every word.
“I quite fancy Vietnamese,” Molly said. “I’m told it’s very good.”
“I know a great Vietnamese restaurant.” Nobby hadn’t even noticed Dorothy walk into the shop; he only had eyes for his beloved Molly. “It’s at the far end of West Street.”
“Oh yes, I think I know the one you mean.”
“We could go there together sometime if you like?”
“That would be nice.” Molly ignored Dorothy who was rolling her eyes at her. “When did you have in mind, Nobby?”
“Any time. Tonight, tomorrow, Wednesday. Whenever you like.”
“Okay, let me think about it, and I’ll get back to you. Maybe later in the week.”
“That would be great.”
Dorothy cleared her throat. “Morning, you two.”
“Dorothy? I didn’t realise you were there.” Nobby stammered. “I suppose I’d better get back next door. Will you let me know about the Vietnamese, Molly?”
“You can rely on it.”
“How can you live with yourself?” Dorothy said, after Nobby had left.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Leading that poor boy on like that.”
“I’m not leading him on. We’ve had sushi together, that’s all.”
“And I’m guessing you didn’t split the bill.”
“I didn’t want to offend him by offering to pay.”
“Of course you didn’t. Does he know about Rocky?”
“Why would I tell him about Rocky? It’s not like I’m going on a date with Nobby.”
“He thinks it’s a date. And since when did you like Vietnamese food?”
“Judy and her new guy had some last week. She said it was great, so I thought I’d give it a try.”
“And let Nobby pay?”
“If it makes him happy, why not? Anyway, how come you’re so late? Have you been chatting up Donny?”
“Neil’s rust heap of a car broke down, so I had to catch the bus.” She took off her coat and hung it in the staff room. “Now I’m here, you can go and get me a sausage cob.”
“Don’t you want to go and see Donny yourself?”
“No, this morning has been bad enough already.”
***
After getting off the bus, Charlie sprinted the last hundred yards to the gym. He was almost twenty minutes late, and was expecting Draycott to be waiting for him, but instead, Andy met him at the door, and ushered him into the staff room.
“Where have you been?” she said.
“My lift broke down. I had to get the bus.”
“Draycott was on the warpath earlier.”
“Where is he now?”
“Back in his office. I told him that the laundry hadn’t turned up, so you’d nipped out to fetch the towels.”
“That’s strange. That supplier is usually reliable.”
“They weren’t really a no-show. I hid them in my locker.” She opened the door to reveal a pile of fresh towels. “Quick, get changed, and then take them out.”
“You’re a diamond.”
“Never mind that. Hurry up before Draycott comes looking for you again.”
Charlie beat his personal best time for getting changed into his gym gear, then grabbed the towels and took them out into the main room.
“Did they say what the problem was?” Draycott appeared behind him.
“Sorry?”
“The laundry. What was their excuse for not having the towels here when we opened?”
“The van. It broke down.”
“It had better not happen again or we’ll be looking for a new supplier. Put the towels out, and then go and help Andy. You can’t expect her to run the floor all by herself.”
“Yes, sir. Will do.”
Chapter 2
Before Susan even had the chance to sit down, Stella said, “Flynn was in here twenty minutes ago. He said he wanted to see you as soon as you arrived. It sounded urgent, and he didn’t look happy.”
“Great. This morning keeps getting better.”
“Why? What’s happened?”
“My car has gone in for a service; one of my flatmates gave me a lift. His car broke down halfway here, so I had to take the bus.” She hung up her coat. “I’d better go and see what Flynn wants.”
“Good luck.”
“Have a seat please, Susan.” Stella hadn’t been joking; Flynn did not look a happy bunny. Maybe Dougal had been rig
ht; perhaps the new owners had decided not to give Flynn any more time.
“What’s wrong?”
“This isn’t easy for me.”
“Just say it, Flynn. Have the new owners pulled the plug on us?”
“No, they’re actually very happy with our progress.”
“What then?”
“I’ve been offered a new job, and it’s one I simply can’t turn down.”
Susan hadn’t seen that coming. “You’ve only just started here.”
“I know. The owners aren’t very thrilled with me as you might imagine, but this kind of opportunity only comes around once in a lifetime.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I feel bad because I know I persuaded you to join The Bugle. That’s why I’d like to offer you a job—I’d like you to come with me.”
“Where?”
“New Edge, in London.”
“New Edge? I’m impressed.”
“I hope you’ll join me. You’re a great reporter, Susan, and I’d love to have you on board. Obviously, the money would be much better.”
“I moved up here because I wanted to get away from London.”
“I know, and if you decide to stay in Washbridge, I’ll understand. Needless to say, I’ll give you a sparkling reference.”
“I appreciate the offer, Flynn, but I don’t think I can accept.”
“You don’t have to give me an answer now. I have to work out my months’ notice, so you can let me know any time before I leave.”
“Okay. Who else knows about this?”
“Only you, but I’ll be making a formal announcement later today.”
“Dougal will be devastated.”
Flynn smiled for the first time that morning. “I’m sure he will.”
Susan was still stunned when she got back to her office.
“Is everything okay?” Stella said.
“Flynn’s leaving.”
“Why?”
“He’s been offered a much better job in London. It’s one he says he can’t turn down.”
“Where does that leave us?”
“I guess that depends on who takes over from him. He’s offered me a job down there.”