Witch Is Where Clowns Go To Die (A Witch P.I. Mystery Book 38)
Witch Is Where
Clowns Go To Die
Published by Implode Publishing Ltd
© Implode Publishing Ltd 2020
The right of Adele Abbott to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved, worldwide. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.
The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, dead or alive, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 1
“I have two-hundred and thirty-seven now, Jill,” Mrs V gushed as soon as I walked into the outer office.
“Good morning, Mrs V. Two-hundred and thirty-seven what? Pairs of socks? Scarves?”
“No, silly. Followers on YarnAgram.”
“I thought you said that you were going to give that up?”
“I was seriously thinking about it after I got whacked, but then all those horrible posts disappeared overnight, and I haven’t had any problems since. I’ve posted lots more pictures over the weekend: scarves, socks, and a few jumpers. They’ve had lots of likes and shares already. And some really nice comments from people I don’t even know. And like I said, I’ve now got, oh, it’s two-hundred and thirty-eight now. They just keep popping up.”
“That’s great. I’m really pleased for you. Have you told your friend Mrs Mizus?”
“I phoned her yesterday. She said she was thrilled for me.”
I bet she did.
When I walked through to my office, Winky was sitting on my desk, glaring at me. Something told me he was not in a good mood.
“I’m not in a good mood!” He snapped.
See? What did I tell you? It’s like I have a sixth sense.
“Good morning, Winky.”
“I don’t know how you’ve got the nerve.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t come the innocent with me. I know.”
“Do you have to be so cryptic? What do you know?”
“That you have a dog!”
Oh bum!
“Err, Barry? I’ve had him for ages. You knew that.”
“I don’t mean the one in the paranormal world. I’m talking about rat-dog.”
“Oh, right. You mean Buddy.”
“He’s no buddy of mine. How long have you had him?”
“Not very long.”
“If he can live with you, why can’t I?”
“I’d love for you to do that, but there’s a problem.”
“I thought there might be. Let’s hear it.”
“My little girl, Florence, is allergic to cats.”
“How very convenient.”
“Honestly, it’s true. When she asked if she could have a pet, I was going to suggest that you move in with us, but then we found out about the allergy. We took her to the doctor to be tested, and they confirmed it.”
“And let me guess, she’s not allergic to dog hair.”
“Apparently not. That’s why we got Buddy.”
“How do I know you’re not lying to me again?”
“What do you mean, again? I would never lie to you, Winky. I’d love for you to live with us, but I have to put Florence’s wellbeing first, don’t I?”
Luckily, I was saved from further interrogation when the landline rang. It was Mrs V.
“Jill, I’ve got Betty Longbottom on the line. She wondered if you had time for a quick chat?”
Betty Longbottom? That name was a blast from the past. Some years ago, Betty had opened a shop called She Sells, which had sold all manner of marine knick-knacks. Shortly afterwards, she’d opened a marine centre called The Sea’s The Limit. After a dodgy start, that too had proved to be a real money spinner. Over the next three years, she’d opened several more marine centres around the country. Then, from what I heard, there had been a dramatic downturn in trade, and she’d been unable to keep up the massive loan repayments. Eventually, the business had folded. I hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her since then.
“Put her through, Mrs V, would you?”
“Will do.”
“Jill, is that you?”
“Betty. Long time, no speak. How are you?”
“Very well, thank you. What about you? I hear you have a little girl now.”
“That’s right. Florence. She’s five and she’s just started school.”
“How lovely for you.”
“I haven’t seen you in ages, Betty, where are you living these days?”
“I’ve moved around a lot, but I recently moved back to Washbridge.”
“For good?”
“I think so. I wondered if I might pop into your office to see you, when you can spare the time.”
“I’d like that. When did you have in mind?”
“Is tomorrow morning okay?”
“That’ll be fine. How about nine-thirty?”
“That works for me. I’m looking forward to seeing you again.”
“You too, Betty.”
Fortunately, that short distraction had given Winky the chance to calm down. He’d jumped off my desk and disappeared under the sofa, where he was no doubt still sulking.
Provided he never found out the truth, that Florence didn’t have an allergy to cats, I should be okay.
A little later, Mrs V came through to my office.
“Jill, your ten-thirty is here.”
I opened my desk drawer, took out my diary, and flicked to today’s page.
“Mr Black. Yes, I’m expecting him.” I pointed to the entry. “Aren’t you impressed, Mrs V?”
“At what?”
“That I remembered to put him in my diary?”
She rolled her eyes. “Shall I send him through?”
Sheesh! If that was all the appreciation I got, I wouldn’t bother in future.
When Mr Black had made his appointment, he’d told Mrs V very little about himself, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. The man who walked into my office had an air of sadness about the way he carried himself. He was wearing trainers, which had probably once been white, blue jeans and a black V-neck jumper over a black t-shirt.
“Mr Black, I’m Jill Maxwell. Pleased to meet you.” He shook my hand but barely made eye contact.
“The name’s Phil.” He spoke so quietly I could barely hear him.
“Why don’t you take a seat, Phil? Would you like a drink?”
“No, thanks.”
It was clear the guy wasn’t in the mood for small talk, so I cut straight to the chase.
“Why don’t you tell me why you came to see me today? Take your time. There’s no hurry.”
“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “When I was nineteen, I was convicted of murder.”
“I didn’t do it. I was released from prison five weeks ago.”
“Who were you convicted of murdering?”
“Liam Roberts. My half-brother.”
“Right.”
“He was four years old.”
Oh boy. I was beginning to think that I might be out of my depth, but I owed it to him to at least hear him out.
“And the reason you came to see me today?”
“I want you to prove I had nothing to do with Liam’s murder. I can’t live the rest of my life as a convicted murderer.”
“Cases like this can be very difficult. I could end up spending a lot of time on this and still not be able to prove your innocence. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just move on with your life now that you’re a free man again?”
“No. Unless I can prove to the world that I had nothing to do with Liam’s death, there’s no point in my being alive anyway.”
“There’s one thing I feel I must mention before we go any further. If I agreed to take on your case, there would be substantial costs involved, and you just told me that you’ve spent some time in prison. Are you in a position to pay my fees?”
“I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t. I live with my grandmother now. She’s the only person who has always believed in my innocence. She was the only one who came to visit me in prison. She’s agreed to cover your fees. Will you do this? Will you help me?”
“I’m not sure. I’ll need to know much more about what happened before I can make that decision.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything. You said that Liam was your half-brother?”
“That’s right. I don’t know who my biological father is. He walked out on us before I was born.”
“What about your birth mother?”
“She married Andy. Liam was their child.”
“So that makes Andy your stepfather.”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because Andy Roberts is a complete loser. I can’t stand the man. My mother actually wanted me to take his name, but no way was I going to do that.”
“Do he and your mother still live in the same house?”
“No, they split up not long after Liam died. Mum still lives in Washbridge, but I don’t know where Andy is now. And I certainly don’t care.”
“Are you still in touch with your mother?”
“No, she hasn’t spoken to me since I was convicted of Liam’s murder.”
“Can you tell me what happened to Liam? How did he die?”
“No one knows. His body was never found.”
This was getting worse and worse.
“You’d better tell me exactly what happened.”
“On the day he went missing, I’d gone fishing.”
“By yourself?”
“Yeah. There’s a river not far from the house we lived in. I often used to go there. When I got back home, my mother asked where Liam was. I had no idea. I hadn’t seen him at all that day. Apparently, he’d told my stepfather that he was going fishing with me.”
“But didn’t you say he was only four? Surely they would have checked that he was with you before they allowed him to leave the house?”
“They were having a lie-in that morning. My stepfather had got up to go to the loo when he saw Liam who told him I was taking him with me. I did that occasionally, so I guess my stepfather took him at his word and assumed I was waiting for him downstairs.”
“Why would Liam tell his father that if it wasn’t true?”
“He knew they wouldn’t have let him go alone. Anyway, when I told them I’d not seen him, they called the police who launched a search, but they drew a blank.”
“How come you were charged with his murder?”
“They found traces of his blood on the rocks where I’d been fishing and on my fishing rod, which was back at the house. I have no idea how the blood got on it, I swear. After that, everything started to go crazy. The police were convinced I’d done it, and nothing I said could persuade them otherwise. They interrogated me for hours. In the end, I didn’t know what I was doing. Or saying. I would’ve said just about anything as long as it meant they’d allow me to go home.”
“Are you telling me that you confessed to his murder?”
“I must have, but I don’t remember doing it. Like I said, I just wanted to get out of there. Can you help me? Will you take the case? Please.”
“Before I make a decision, I’d like to speak to your grandmother. Could that be arranged?”
“She’s not in the best of health, but I’m sure she’ll talk to you. She believes in me, and she wants to help to clear my name.”
“Okay. Talk to her and if she agrees, give me a call to set up a meeting.”
***
Normally, at lunchtime, I would just grab a sandwich, but Aunt Lucy had invited me over to her house for something to eat.
When I got there, she was busy in the kitchen.
“Something smells nice, Aunt Lucy.”
“I thought we’d have shepherds’ pie. I hope that’s okay for you.”
“That’ll be lovely. I see you have your trophy on display.”
The small silver trophy, which she’d won in the Candlefield in Bloom competition, was standing in the kitchen window.
“I thought I’d put it there, so that I see it every time I look out at the garden.”
“How did you feel when you found out that it was Charlie who’d vandalised your flower beds?”
“Shocked. I didn’t believe it at first. Until then, he’d been so kind to me. I never would have dreamed he was capable of doing something so horrible, but that doesn’t mean I approve of what your grandmother did to him.”
“Putting him in the snow globe, you mean?” I grinned.
“Yes, that was just too much.”
“I hate to say it, Aunt Lucy, but for once I’m on Grandma’s side. I think he deserved everything he got. What he did to you was despicable. Is he back home yet?”
“Yes. I saw him come back yesterday. I’m fairly sure he saw me too, but he pretended that he hadn’t.”
“Isn’t it going to be a little awkward living next-door to him now that you know what he did?”
“Very.”
A few minutes later, we were seated at the kitchen table, tucking into the shepherds’ pie.
“Mmm, this is delicious. My shepherd’s pie never tastes like this, but then mine usually comes out of a box.”
“I could give you my recipe if you like.”
“That would be great, thanks. I’ll pass it on to Jack.”
“How’s my favourite grand-niece?”
“Florence is great. She went to school with a spring in her step this morning. She’s made a new friend in the village; a little girl called Wendy.”
“That’s nice.”
“She’s actually a werewolf.”
“Does Florence know?”
“Not yet. I’m still trying to figure out the best way to tell her. Wendy and her parents are the only other sups in the village.”
“Not for much longer.” Aunt Lucy grinned.
“Oh, yes. I’d forgotten about Grandma’s hotel. Did you know she’d bought it?”
“No, I would have told you if I did. It came as a total surprise to me. I can’t think why she’s done it. I thought the whole point of selling her Ever empire was so that she’d be able to put her feet up and take it easy. Has it actually opened yet?”
“Not yet. She did hold an open day for the locals, but I don’t think it opens for guests until this weekend.”
“I’m not sure I’d want to stay at a hotel run by your grandmother.”
“Me neither. How’s Lester doing?”
“He’s as happy as a lark, but I do wish I didn’t have to wash his smelly clothes. They reek of fish. It’s got to the point where I can’t bear the thought of eating fish anymore, which
is a real shame because it would cost me next to nothing. Have you been to Cuppy C today?”
“No, I came straight over here. Why? There’s nothing wrong, is there?”
“No, but every time I see the twins these days, all they do is complain about one another. Before their girls started school, only one of the twins was working in the shop at a time, and everything was okay. Now they’re working together again, they argue all the time. It’s beginning to drive me crazy.”
Just then, I heard the thump of paws on the stairs and Barry came charging into the kitchen.
“Jill, I didn’t know you were here. I was asleep.”
“You look a mess.”
“Aw, don’t say that.”
“Sorry, but it’s true. What happened to him, Aunt Lucy?”
“It’s my fault, really. When I took him for his walk yesterday afternoon, I had the bright idea of going somewhere different, so I took him by the river. I hadn’t realised the recent heavy rain had caused it to break its banks in a number of spots.”
“Oh dear.”
“Oh dear, indeed. There were huge puddles and the ground was really muddy. Needless to say, Barry thought it was great and he went rolling in it. By the time I got him home, he was absolutely caked in mud. If you think he looks bad now, you should have seen him yesterday before I brushed the worst of it out. I called the groomers first thing this morning, but it appears they’ve closed down, so I’m going to have to try to find another one.”
“If you get stuck, I might be able to help. A dog groomer, called Bubbles, has opened just down the corridor from my office. The lady who owns it seems really nice. She’s given me a fifty percent off voucher for shampoos. I don’t really want to take Barry to the human world, but if you can’t find anywhere in Candlefield, give me a call and I’ll see what I can organise.”
“Thanks, I’ll do that.”
“Where’s my dinner?” Barry whined. “I’m hungry.”
“You’ll have to wait a few minutes until we’ve finished ours,” Aunt Lucy said. “Go out in the garden and play. And don’t trample all over the flowerbeds.”
Chapter 2
Winky was tearing open a brown paper package.
“What have you got there, Winky?”