Whoops! We're In Big Trouble Now Read online

  “Morning, Charlie. You’re up bright and early.”

  “It’s my coach trip today.”

  “Of course. I’d forgotten about that. Where is it you’re going, again?”

  “Stratford.”

  “Have you been there before?”

  “No, but Jade has. She reckons it’s nice.”

  “It is. Particularly by the river.”

  “You’ve been there, then?”

  “Yes, but not for a very long time.”

  “How come you’re up, Susan?”

  “I’m going out with Greg.”

  “Anywhere nice?”

  “I don’t actually know. It’s going to be a surprise.”

  Charlie checked his watch for the hundredth time since he’d got up. His nerves started to jangle every time he thought of all the things that could go wrong today.

  “Do you know where Dorothy’s unit is, Charlie?”

  “Sorry?” The question took him completely by surprise.

  “The premises she and Tilly have taken on for their new business? I have to do some research on my day off tomorrow, and it might help if I knew who she’d contacted to rent the unit.”

  If Charlie hadn’t been in such a state, he might have had the presence of mind to tell Susan he didn’t know where the unit was, but he wasn’t firing on all cylinders. “It’s under the railway arches.”

  “Right. Thanks.”

  ***

  Greg had said he would pick up Susan from outside her apartment, and as always, he was early. As soon as she stepped out of the building, she heard him beep his horn. The Gregsmobile looked no better than the last time she’d seen it.

  “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather take my car?” She hesitated before getting in.

  “What’s wrong with this?”

  “It’s a rust bucket.”

  “Don’t say that. You’ll upset her. And, anyway, there isn’t a centimetre of rust anywhere on her. She just needs a good clean.”

  “A shot-blast, more like.”

  Susan had to move a pile of papers from the seat before she was able to join him in the front.

  “Sorry about those. I meant to put them in the boot.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “Take a look in the back seat.”

  “Is that what I think it is?”

  “What do you think it is?”

  “It looks like a picnic basket.”

  “You do like picnics, I hope?”

  “Of course, I’m just surprised. It’s not what I was expecting.”

  “What were you expecting?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe a visit to a haunted house. Or an exhibition on paranormal studies.”

  “I do have other interests, you know.”

  “Such as?”

  “You, for a start.” He blushed as soon as the words were out of his mouth. “I—err—thought we could go up to Marple Top. Do you know it?”

  “Yeah, my parents used to take us there in the summer holidays when we were kids, but I haven’t been for years.”

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “And you’re absolutely sure you wouldn’t rather take my car?”

  ***

  By the time Neil emerged from his bedroom, both Susan and Charlie had gone out. He’d had his first good night’s sleep for some time, and he felt much better for it. He had mixed feelings about what Tilly and Dorothy had done. On the one hand, he was relieved not to have had another visit from Bella, but he was mortified at the method they’d employed to get rid of her.

  He was still trying to summon up the energy to get off the sofa and make breakfast when Dorothy came out of her bedroom. Unbelievably, she had a smile on her face. His eyes had to be playing tricks on him because Dorothy never smiled in the mornings. He was about to ask her what was going on when she said, “Would you like toast with your coffee?”

  Neil was gobsmacked, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. “Yes, please.”

  “I wasn’t talking to you.” She made her way towards the kitchen.

  Now, he was thoroughly confused. “But, you just said—”

  “Yes, please.” Donny appeared in Dorothy’s bedroom doorway.

  “Parrot man?” Neil stared, open-mouthed.

  “The name’s Donny, actually.” He walked over to join Neil. “Morning, mate.”

  “Morning.” Neil grinned. “No wonder you’re looking so pleased with life, Dorothy.”

  “Shut it! I don’t want any of your lewd comments.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it. If Parrot—err—Donny can stop you from being your usual miserable self, he’s welcome here anytime.”

  Dorothy really must have been in a good mood because she made coffee and toast for the three of them.

  “Where did you two go last night?” Neil said.

  “Donny took me to that new place near the library.”

  “The Rouge? Blimey, you must be made of money, pal. I couldn’t afford to go there.”

  “Nothing’s too good for Dorothy.” Donny put his arm around her.

  “Neil’s seeing someone too, aren’t you?” Dorothy said.

  Neil was waiting for her to make some wisecrack about Kim being a grim reaper, but she didn’t. The transformation in her was unbelievable.

  “The four of us should all go out together some time,” Donny suggested.

  Before either Dorothy or Neil could respond, there was an almighty commotion from out on the landing: lots of banging, crashing and raised voices.

  “What’s going on out there?” Dorothy led the way to the door.

  “Let me go! I didn’t do anything!” It was Amelia, who had been cornered against the wall by Faze and another rogue retriever.

  “Tell it to the courts.”

  “Faze, what’s going on?” Neil stepped out onto the landing.

  “We’re taking your neighbour back to Candlefield.”

  “What did she do?”

  “I’m sorry, but I’m not at liberty to discuss that.”

  “I didn’t do anything!” Amelia screamed, just before Faze threw a net over her. Moments later, Amelia disappeared in a puff of smoke.

  Back inside the flat, Neil and Donny looked shocked by what they’d just witnessed. Dorothy, though, did not.

  “I wonder what she did,” Donny said.

  “You know something about this, don’t you?” Neil had picked up on Dorothy’s nonchalance.

  “Me? Why would I know anything about it?”

  “I don’t know, but you do. I can tell. You did this for Charlie, didn’t you?”

  She grinned, but said nothing.

  “Come on. Spill the beans. What did you do?”

  “I’m not admitting to anything, but if I was guessing, I might think someone had had some flyers printed. Flyers that offered magic spells for sale. Those flyers would probably have had Amelia’s address and phone number on them. That same someone might then have put the flyers through a few doors, including that of our resident rogue retriever, Faze. But of course, that’s pure speculation on my part.”

  “Dorothy, you’re a star,” Neil said.

  ***

  Charlie had arrived at the coach station fifteen minutes before they were due to depart for Stratford, but there were now only two minutes to go, and there was still no sign of Jade. Had she changed her mind? Maybe she’d come to her senses and realised she could do much better than him?

  “Charlie!” Jade came running up the road. “I didn’t think I was going to make it.”

  “It’s okay. You’re here now. We’d better get on board, though. I think he’s about to leave.”

  Charlie was right. They’d no sooner taken their seats than the driver closed the doors, and set off.

  “I’m so sorry, Charlie, my taxi got stuck in traffic. I had to jump out and run the last half mile.”

  “You made it; that’s all that matters. I was beginning to think you’d changed your mind.”

  “Don’t
be silly.” She gave him a peck on the cheek. “I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”

  “I got this for you.” He took a small present out of his pocket. “Happy birthday.”

  “You shouldn’t have. Coming on this trip was present enough.”

  “Open it.”

  He watched as she tore off the paper and then opened the small box.

  “It’s beautiful.” She held up the necklace. “Did you choose it?”

  “Actually, Susan, one of my flatmates, helped me. I hope you don’t mind?”

  “Of course not. She obviously has very good taste.”

  ***

  Neil only had today to perfect his new act because his first gig was tomorrow, and Selina had already phoned to confirm she would be there. And yet, his mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kim. He hadn’t felt like this before about any woman. In the past, he’d actually mocked his friends when they’d become besotted with their girlfriends. Love them and leave them, that had always been Neil’s motto.

  But not anymore, so he gave her a call.

  “Kim, it’s Neil.”

  “Oh? Hi. I wasn’t expecting you to call so soon.”

  “I was wondering what you were up to today?”

  “Nothing much. I’ve got some ironing to do, but other than that, I’m having a lazy day. Why?”

  “This is probably going to sound a little weird, but I wondered if—no, never mind.”

  “Come on. What were you going to say?”

  “You know I do a magician’s act, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, of course.”

  “I wondered if you fancied being my assistant?”

  “Me? I thought you’d asked Fable to do that?”

  “I did, but that never really got off the ground, and besides, it would be tricky having a human as my assistant. It’s difficult enough hiding the fact that I’m using real magic from the punters, without having to hide it from my assistant too.”

  “You get that I’m not actually a sup?”

  “I know, but you’re close enough. What do you say? Do you fancy doing it?”

  “Don’t magician’s assistants have to be gorgeous and have fantastic figures.”

  “Not really.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I didn’t mean that. You are gorgeous, and you have a great figure, but that’s not why I’m asking you to do it.”

  “Why are you asking me, then?”

  “I thought it would be fun to do it together.”

  “What about Fable? Won’t she be mad if she finds out I’ve taken her place?”

  “No, she’ll be cool about it.”

  “Okay, then. If you’re sure?”

  “I am, but the thing is, I have a gig tomorrow night, so you’d need to be up to speed by then.”

  “That doesn’t give me much time.”

  “I know, but if you can come around to my place now, I thought we could spend all day practising.”

  “All day?”

  “We might take a few breaks.”

  “I like the sound of that.”

  “Shall I come and pick you up?”

  “No need. I’ll drive over. I know where you live; I should be with you in less than thirty minutes.”

  “Great. I’ll see you soon.”

  Result! Neil suddenly felt much better about the day ahead, and he was especially looking forward to the ‘breaks’.

  A few minutes later, it occurred to him that he should give Liam a call. He wanted to make sure he was still going to let him have the information he needed to reverse the spell on Pretty. If Charlie got home tonight, and the cat was still frozen, Neil would be in for it.

  “Liam, it’s Neil. I was wondering if you’d tracked down that spell?”

  “Give me a chance, buddy. We didn’t get home until late last night, and I’ve only just got out of bed.”

  “It’s really urgent.”

  “So you said. A thousand times. I’ll get onto it as soon as I can, and I’ll give you a call back.”

  “Thanks, Liam. You’re a top guy.”

  ***

  Dorothy was thrilled when Donny asked if he could take a look around the unit that she and Tilly had rented. She was still bursting with pride at the prospect of launching her first ever business, and it was all the more enjoyable now that she had someone to share it with.

  “It could do with a lick of paint,” he quipped.

  “I know. We’re going—”

  “I’m only joking. It’s fine. You did well to find something suitable so quickly.”

  “Didn’t we just? The rent’s reasonable and best of all, it’s on our doorstep. This is our office.” She pointed to the single chair and table, which had been left by the previous tenant.

  “Nice, but you may have been a bit extravagant with the furniture.” He grinned.

  “And through here are the fridges.”

  He opened the door of the one closest to him. “There isn’t much stock in there.”

  “The first delivery is coming in the morning.”

  “What about that room?”

  “There’s nothing in there at the moment, but it’ll give us somewhere to expand into when the business grows.”

  “When? It’s nice to hear you sounding so positive.”

  “I am. I can’t wait to get started.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy. This business was obviously what you needed in your life.”

  “It wasn’t the only thing, though.” She pulled him closer and kissed him.

  “Don’t go thinking that because we’re together now you’ll get a discount on your sausage cobs.”

  “Oh no!”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It hadn’t occurred to me until you said that. What will I do for breakfast now I’m not near your shop.”

  “You’ll have to make your own from now on.”

  “Or you could start a delivery service.”

  “Just for you?”

  “Why not. I’m worth it, aren’t I?”

  “You are, but it’s still never going to happen.”

  “Spoilsport.”

  “I promised to go over to my brother’s later. Do you fancy coming with me?”

  “Would he mind?”

  “Rod? Nah, but he’ll probably take the mickey out of you. He does with everyone.”

  “I’d love to go with you.”

  “Great.”

  Chapter 19

  The weather in Stratford couldn’t have been better. After eating an ice cream, Charlie and Jade took a short river cruise. Everything was perfect, or at least it would have been if there hadn’t been a full moon that night.

  “Are you okay, Charlie?” Jade asked, as they cruised past a mother duck and her ducklings.

  “Yeah, fine.”

  “Are you sure? It’s like I keep losing you. Is there something on your mind?”

  “Sorry, I was just admiring the scenery. I’m having a great time. What about you?”

  “I love it here. It would be nice if we could come back for a weekend some time, don’t you think?”

  “I’d love that.”

  “Have you got any more photoshoots lined up, Charlie?”

  “No, I haven’t heard from Charlotte at All Man for a while. I think I may have blown my modelling career.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “The photographer on the shoot where Amelia turned up wasn’t very impressed with me.”

  “That wasn’t your fault.”

  “Maybe not, but it still spoiled the shoot. I don’t imagine he gave me very good feedback.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be okay. Even the most experienced model has an off-day. If things don’t pick up at All-Man, I’ll put a word in for you at my agency.”

  “Thanks. It would be nice if we both worked at the same place.”

  “Anyway, forget about that now. Let’s enjoy today.”

  ***

  Remark
ably, to Susan at least, the Gregsmobile made it to Marple Top without incident.

  “It’s still as beautiful up here as I remember,” she remarked, as they set out the picnic.

  “Do you have a big family, Susan?”

  “Three brothers.”

  “That explains it.” He grinned.

  “Explains what?”

  “Why you’re so tough. I guess you had to be, growing up with them?”

  “True, but they were also very protective of me.”

  “Do you still see much of them?”

  “Not as much as I would like. I thought that once I was back in Washbridge, I’d get to see them more often, but so far, it hasn’t worked out that way.”

  “And now you might be going back to London.”

  “Might. I haven’t decided anything yet.”

  “What about your parents? Do you see much of them?”

  “Not a lot. My father has never been happy with my choice of career. He had a bad experience with the press, and as far as he’s concerned, all journalists are scum.”

  “He’ll come around in time.”

  “You don’t know my father. Anyway, let’s not talk about me. I know next to nothing about you, apart from your fascination with the paranormal. How did that start, anyway?”

  “If I tell you, you really will think I’m crazy.”

  “I can’t think you’re any crazier than I already do.” She smiled.

  “Good to know.”

  “So? What happened?”

  “When I was a kid, we used to live in a small village in Cornwall. There was an old woman who lived in a cottage about a quarter of a mile from our house. I overheard someone call her the vampire, so I asked my parents why. They said it was a silly nickname that didn’t mean anything, but I was a rather precocious child, and I decided to investigate for myself. One day, I went up to her house and hid in her back garden.”

  “What happened?”

  “Nothing, for the first hour or so. I could see her pottering around in the kitchen, but she didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. I was about to go home when she came out into the garden, and sat on the bench. She couldn’t see me because I was hidden behind a thick bush. The woman had a drink with her. At first, I thought it was a raspberry milkshake or something, but then when she drank it.” He hesitated, as he played back the images in his mind. “The thick liquid dripped from her lips, and I could tell it was blood.”