Whoops! We're In Big Trouble Now Page 3
***
What a little beauty! Neil was admiring his new motor. As soon as Selena had given him the thumbs up, he’d got on the phone to Ted, to see what kind of deal he could sort out for him. Neil didn’t have the cash to buy it outright, but with the money from his Real Magic gigs, he’d be able to make the monthly payments. The Golf had been a little more than he’d wanted to pay, but he’d been unable to resist it. He was on his way home in it now, and he couldn’t wait to show off his new wheels to his flatmates.
He was to be out of luck because when he got back to the apartment, there was no one home.
Except Bob.
“Hey! You over there!”
There were times when Neil wished he wasn’t able to talk to animals—particularly lovesick birds.
“What’s up, Bob?”
“Be a pal, and open the cage door, will you?”
“No chance. Dorothy would kill me.”
“Come on, buddy. No one need ever know. There’s a cracking bit of feather who lives on the floor above. We’ve been chatting through the window all morning. Her owner leaves her cage door open all the time. If I can get the door to this cage open, she’s promised to come down and pay me a visit.” He gave Neil a knowing wink. “If you get my drift.”
“Way too much information.”
“Come on. You’re a guy. You know what it’s like when you haven’t been with a lady for almost a month.”
A month? It was almost a year for Neil, but he wasn’t about to share that information with a canary. Still, he could definitely empathise.
“Okay, but only if you promise not to fly out of the window.”
“Cross my heart. I’ll wait here for Tootsie to come and join me.”
“Tootsie?”
“She’s really hot stuff.”
“Okay, then.” Neil opened the door of the cage. “I’m trusting you. Don’t let me down.”
“You’re the best, man.”
Neil was desperate to show off his new car, and as there was still no sign of his flatmates, he decided to drive over to see his friend, Gordy. He’d be green with envy.
***
When Charlie arrived on set, the photographer and his assistant were already there, but there was no sign of Charmaine.
“You look great, Charlie.” The photographer was studying him through the viewfinder.
“Thanks.” He didn’t feel great. Charlie had never been one for suits. In fact, the only time he’d worn one was for interviews, and to attend a wedding. He’d certainly never owned one as fancy as the one he was wearing now.
“Looks like your bride is going to keep you waiting at the altar.” The assistant grinned.
Charlie managed a smile, which wasn’t easy, given how nervous he was feeling.
“Here she comes now.” The photographer gestured to the other side of the studio.
“Hello, Charlie.”
“Amelia?”
“It’s Charmaine. If you don’t mind.”
“Since when?”
“Charmaine is my professional name.”
“What are you doing here?”
“The same as you, I imagine. Working.”
“I didn’t know you were a model.”
“I wasn’t, but then I saw that scrag-end that you’re dating now, and I figured if she could do it, I’d have no problem. Turned out I was right. Ladies Select signed me up on the spot.”
“You knew I’d be on this shoot, didn’t you?”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” she scoffed. “How could I know?”
Was she lying? She had to be lying, didn’t she?
“When you’re both ready,” the photographer said. “I need you to put your arm around your bride-to-be, Charlie.”
“Couldn’t we just stand side-by-side?”
“That wouldn’t be very romantic, would it?” Amelia goaded him. “Here, put your arm around my waist.”
He had no choice but to do as they said.
“Now look into each other’s eyes,” the photographer said. “I want to see the look of love.”
“Do you like what you see, Charlie?” Amelia whispered to him. “This could all have been yours if you hadn’t gone and spoiled everything.”
“This is plain silly. Why can’t you leave Jade and me alone, and get on with your own life?”
“Where would be the fun in that?”
“Hey, you two!” the photographer shouted. “How am I supposed to get any shots if you’re squabbling?”
Charlie apologised.
“Okay, now lean in to one another, and give each other a big kiss.”
***
It was very late when Dorothy arrived home from her mother’s. The visit had been frustrating because, although her mother had been willing to help, she’d only been able to offer Dorothy half of the money that she needed. As much as Dorothy appreciated her mother’s generosity, half of the money was of little use because she had zero chance of raising the balance. It killed her to think that Tilly might go into business with someone else.
The apartment was empty—the others must already be in bed. And that’s where Dorothy was headed too because she was shattered.
“Goodnight, Bob.”
And then she saw it: The open cage door, the open window, and the empty cage.
Great! That’s all she needed. Someone was going to pay for this, but she was too tired to do anything about it now. It would have to wait until the morning.
Chapter 4
Charlie, Neil and Susan were all woken at six o’clock by some crazy person hammering at their bedroom doors.
That crazy person turned out to be Dorothy.
“What’s going on?” Charlie rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
“Have you lost your ever-loving mind?” Neil said.
“What’s wrong?” Susan followed the others into the living area.
“Notice anything missing?” Dorothy challenged them.
“It must be your watch,” Neil quipped. “I can’t think of any other reason you’d drag us out of bed at this hour.”
“Try again.”
The three flatmates looked around; it was Susan who spotted it first.
“The canary has gone!”
“A coconut for the lucky lady,” Dorothy said. “And now for the bonus prize, can anyone tell me who opened the cage door?”
The three flatmates looked at one another, but no one admitted guilt.
“There’s a good chance that Bob will come back,” Dorothy said. “He’s done it before. And when he does, he’ll tell me which one of you let him out, so you may as well fess up now.”
“It was me.” Neil stepped forward. “But it wasn’t all my fault.”
“This should be good.” Dorothy glared at him. “Go on. I’m listening.”
“I’ll let you two sort this out,” Susan said. “I’m going to take a shower.”
When she was out of the room, Neil tried to explain. “Bob talked me into letting him out. He said there was a lady canary on the floor above who wanted to pay him a visit, but he promised me faithfully that he wouldn’t fly out of the window.”
“And you believed him?”
“I felt sorry for him. He said he hadn’t had any female company for ages.”
“If he doesn’t come back, you’re the one who’ll have to explain to my mother why he isn’t here.” Although she wasn’t about to admit it, Dorothy was happy to see the back of the stupid bird. And if Neil ended up taking the fall for it, even better.
The flatmates were all wide awake now, so none of them bothered going back to bed. Instead, they all had breakfast: cornflakes for Susan and Charlie, porridge for Dorothy, and a sausage cob for Neil.
“I went on another photoshoot last night,” Charlie said.
“What was it this time?” Neil managed through a mouthful of sausage. “A naturist magazine?”
“Wedding wear.”
“Nice,” Susan said. “How did it go?”
“Terribl
e.”
“How come?”
“I was booked to work with a model called Charmaine.”
“Was she a bit of a dog?” Neil said.
Both women glared at him.
“You disgust me!” Dorothy ripped into Neil.
“It turned out that Charmaine was actually Amelia,” Charlie said.
“What?” Dorothy looked aghast. “I didn’t realise she was a model.”
“She wasn’t; she’s only just signed up.”
“And she just happened to end up on the same shoot as you?” Neil finished the last of his cob. “She sounds like a real psycho.”
“It was terrible. We had to pose as though we were madly in love with one another. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I don’t think the photographer will have given me very good feedback.”
“I’m really sorry to hear that, buddy, but I do have some good news.” Neil beamed.
“Are you moving out?” Dorothy said.
“You’d better be nice to me unless you want to catch the bus every morning.”
“I thought that old rust heap of yours was a write-off?”
“It is, but I’ve got myself a new set of wheels. A red Golf, and although I say it myself, it’s the dog’s.”
“I thought you were broke?” Charlie said.
“I am, but I managed to talk Selena at Real Magic into taking me back onto her books. With what I’ll earn from those gigs, I’ll easily be able to afford the monthly payments.”
“Good for you, Neil.” Susan put her empty bowl in the sink. “I had some shocking news at work yesterday.”
“Did you get fired?” Dorothy said.
“No, Dorothy, I didn’t get fired. My boss has decided to take a new job in London.”
“How will that affect you?” Charlie asked.
“I don’t know. It’ll depend on who replaces him. Flynn did offer me a job with him in London if I want it.”
“Are you going to take it?” Neil sat on the sofa.
“I don’t think so. I’m not in any hurry to go back there.”
“I hear there are plenty of supernatural creatures wandering the streets of London,” Dorothy said. “You should love it down there.”
“Anyone would think you were trying to get rid of me, Dorothy.”
“Me? Why would I do that to my bestie?”
***
“Hey, you over there!” Bunty’s voice boomed through the microphone.
“Did you want me?” Charlie looked through the magnifying glass.
“Who else would I be calling to? When can I expect the money for the furniture I’ve had to buy?”
“I thought we’d agreed that my paying for the new house was enough.”
“Who agreed to that? Not me. Greta might have, but then she always was a soft touch.”
“Where is Greta?”
“How would I know? Probably fawning over that new man of hers.”
“What man? I didn’t know Greta was seeing someone.”
“You must be the only person who doesn’t. She’s talked about nothing else for the last week. She’s seriously doing my head in.”
“I’m really pleased for her.”
“Yeah, yeah, aren’t we all? So, I can expect that cash PDQ, then, can I?”
“I—err—”
“Good.” And with that, Bunty disappeared into her house.
Charlie was about to move away from the magnifying glass when Greta popped her head out of her door.
“Has Bunty gone?” she said in a whisper.
“Yeah.” Charlie lowered his voice too. “She tells me you’re seeing someone.”
“I am.” Greta’s face lit up. “His name is Lewis and he’s lovely.”
“I’m really pleased for you.”
“Thanks, Charlie. I’m glad someone is. Bunty’s been giving me a really hard time about it.”
“What business is it of hers who you see?”
“The thing is, Lewis and Bunty were an item way back when, but she cheated on him, and they broke up.”
“That was a horrible thing she did.”
“You know what she’s like. Anyway, Lewis moved away after that, but now he’s back. We bumped into each other quite by chance recently, and we seemed to hit it off.”
“I couldn’t be happier for you.”
“Thanks, Charlie.”
***
“Give it a rest, Neil.” Debs yawned; she’d been forced to listen to him go on about his new car for the last twenty minutes. “We get it—your new car is fantastic.”
“Fantastic? It’s much better than that. It’s dope.”
“Dope? Who says dope in Washbridge?”
“What kind of motor does Johnny have?”
“A Corsa.”
“A Corsa?” Neil scoffed. “That’s a girl’s car. You should dump him and go out with a real man.”
“Why, do you know one?”
The shop door opened, and in walked Fable.
“What time do you call this?” Neil tapped his watch.
“I’ve been to the dentist. I told you yesterday, and you said it was okay.”
“Oh yeah, I remember now. Hey, Fable, you should see my new car.”
“Not again.” Debs rolled her eyes.
“I wasn’t talking to you. You can go and unpack the deliveries.”
“Gladly. Anything so long as I don’t have to listen to you spout on about that stupid car.”
***
“What’s up, Dorothy?” Molly said. “You’ve had a long face all morning.”
“I’m fed up of working here. I need something more interesting; something that pays better.”
“Don’t we all, but there aren’t that many jobs going. I should know, I check most days.”
“I don’t want another dead-end job like this one. It was the same at the fancy dress shop. No job satisfaction and poor wages.”
“At least you have my sparkling conversation to look forward to here.”
“Like I said, this place has absolutely nothing going for it.”
“Charming.”
“I’m just cheesed off because I want to go into business with Tilly, but I can’t raise the cash.”
“You’ve never mentioned anything about this before.”
“She only told me about it yesterday. Tilly’s going to start a service similar to the blood distribution network, except that she’ll make deliveries to the door.”
“That’s a great idea. I’d sign up for that.”
“I know. That’s why I want in.”
“How much money would you need?”
“We’d have to put in five thousand pounds each.”
Molly laughed. “Who has that kind of money?”
“Tilly does. Her grandmother left it to her in her Will.”
“Is there any way you could raise your half of the cash?”
“No chance. I could just about manage twelve hundred and fifty if I use all of my savings. I went to see my mum last night, and she said she could let me have two thousand-five hundred, but that would still leave me twelve hundred and fifty short.”
“Won’t Tilly wait until you can get the rest?”
“No, she’s afraid someone might get the same idea and beat her to it. It looks like I’m stuck here for eternity.”
“I know what will cheer you up.”
“What?”
“A sausage cob.”
“Go on, then, but make it bacon and sausage.”
***
The atmosphere in the office had changed dramatically since Flynn had made his announcement. The majority of the staff were subdued and clearly devastated by the news, but Dougal Andrews and the watercooler gang didn’t try to hide their glee.
Stella was firmly in the former camp.
“Morning, Susan.”
“Morning, Stella. Cheer up. Things are never as bad as they seem. We may get lucky and get another Flynn.”
“It’s not that. I have something to tell you, a
nd I’ve been worrying about it all night.”
“What’s that?”
“My brother-in-law has his own business. It’s a small engineering company in West Chipping. He’s expanded recently and needs someone to help with his admin.”
“And he’s asked you?”
“Yeah. If Flynn wasn’t leaving, I would have said no straight away, but now, with all the uncertainty, I—err—”
“You should definitely take it. That’s always assuming you’d be happy working for family?”
“That wouldn’t be a problem. Trevor is a lovely guy. I feel like I’d be letting you down after you went out on a limb to get me this job.”
“Don’t be silly. You mustn’t give that a second thought. I have no idea what will happen when Flynn’s replacement takes up his post. He may not want me here, or I might not want to stay. If you want this job, don’t think twice about it—just take it.”
“Thanks, Susan, I’d been so worried about telling you.”
***
Charlie had been feeling guilty all night about the photoshoot. He’d had no idea that Charmaine was actually Amelia until she walked onto the set. Even so, he was still worried about what Jade would think if she saw photos of him and Amelia, dressed as bride and groom, locked in what appeared to be a loving embrace. He simply couldn’t allow that to happen, so first thing that morning, he’d phoned Jade and asked if she’d meet him at lunchtime. She’d sounded pleased to get his call, and readily agreed to meet in a coffee shop close to the gym. Once they had their drinks, they found a quiet table near the back of the shop.
“This was a nice surprise.” She gave him a peck on the cheek. “But I only have thirty minutes, and then I have to get back.”
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
“So you said on the phone. Don’t keep me on tenterhooks, then. What is it?”
“You have to understand that I had absolutely no idea.”
“No idea about what?”
“I honestly didn’t know it was her.”
“Charlie, I don’t have the first clue what you’re talking about.”
“Sorry, I’m so worked up over this.”
“Take a deep breath and start at the beginning.”