Whoops! We're In Big Trouble Now Page 9

  “Excellent,” Bella said. “It’s just the three of us now.”

  ***

  Dorothy and Tilly had drunk half the bottle of champagne between them. As Dorothy made her way back to her apartment, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so happy. The new business venture was terrifying but exciting too. And, if she was honest, she was looking forward to going out with Donny again. And yes, this time, it was most definitely a date.

  Charlie and Neil were on the sofa—they both looked like they’d lost the winning lottery ticket.

  “Hi, guys! How’s it cooking?” Dorothy came bounding into the room.

  “What are you so happy about?” Neil said. “Have you been drinking?”

  “Tilly and I have been toasting the launch of our new business: T & D Supplies.”

  “Congratulations.” Charlie managed, somewhat half-heartedly.

  “What’s up with you two miseries?”

  “Pretty’s still missing.”

  “I might have known. You really need to get over that stupid cat. What about you, Neil? Why do you look like you’ve been slapped in the face with a wet kipper? Are you worried Mad Maggie is going to keep you up all night again?”

  “No. Socky has got rid of her and her friends.”

  “So what’s up?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Don’t give me that.” She turned to Charlie. “What’s up with him?”

  “Socky’s girlfriend came on to him.”

  “Thanks, mate!” Neil shot Charlie a look.

  “Sorry, buddy, but she was going to find out sooner or later.”

  “Hold on.” Dorothy laughed. “Have I got this right? A ghost is coming onto you?”

  “She’s actually quite hot,” Neil said.

  “I seriously doubt that.”

  “She is. You should see her. She’s really attractive.”

  “Attractive, I can believe. But hot? My guess is she’s stone cold dead.”

  ***

  A little later, after Charlie had gone into his bedroom, Dorothy was kicking herself for laughing at Neil’s ghostly admirer. If he was going to help her find a van, she’d need to wheedle her way back into his good books.

  “I’m going to make myself a cup of tea.” She started towards the kitchen area. “Would you like one?”

  “Are you feeling okay?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’ve never offered to make me a drink in all the time we’ve lived here.”

  “Don’t be daft. Of course I have.” She was pretty sure he was right. “Do you want one or not?”

  “I wouldn’t say no to a cup of tea.”

  “Milk? How many sugars?”

  “See, that proves you’ve never made me one before. Milk, no sugar, please.”

  Making Neil a drink went totally against the grain for Dorothy, but she kept reminding herself that the sacrifice was for the greater good.

  “There you go.” She handed him the tea.

  “You haven’t put anything in here, have you?” He eyed it suspiciously.

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I’m still trying to work out why you’re suddenly being nice to me. It’s all a little unnerving.”

  “Actually, I do want to ask you a small favour.”

  “Of course you do.” He took a sip of tea. “Now it all makes sense.”

  “It’s nothing much. Tilly and I need a van for the new business, and I thought that pal of yours who set you up with the new motor might be able to do us a good deal.”

  “I see. Do we have any biscuits?”

  As she’d expected, Neil was milking this for all it was worth. Under any other circumstances, she’d have told him to get his own biscuits, and probably poured the tea in his lap for good measure. Instead, and through gritted teeth, she said, “I’ll get you the biscuit tin.”

  “Thanks, Dotty.”

  That was it; he’d overstepped the mark.

  “What did you call me?”

  “I thought now that we were such good friends—”

  “Think again. If you call me that one more time, I’ll tear your throat out.”

  “That’s more like the Dorothy I’ve come to love.”

  Red in the face, she started towards her bedroom.

  “I’ll give him a call,” Neil said.

  “Sorry?” She turned to face him.

  “I’ll give Ted a call and see if he has any suitable vans.”

  “Oh, okay. Thanks.”

  “You make a lovely cup of tea. Can I expect you to make me one every morning from now on?”

  “Don’t push your luck.”

  ***

  That evening, all four flatmates were in the living area.

  “Hey, you two, you’ll never guess what Dorothy did this afternoon,” Neil said, ignoring the look she shot his way. “She made me a cup of tea.”

  Both Susan and Charlie stared at Dorothy in disbelief.

  “What prompted that?” Susan said.

  “If you must know, I’ve asked Neil to get his pal in the motor trade to look for a van for our business. Apparently, this is the price I have to pay for that favour.”

  “How’s the business coming together?” Susan said.

  “Better than I could have hoped. We’ve signed the lease for the unit where we’ll be based. It’s only small, but it’ll do to begin with. And the best part is that it’s not far from here.”

  “I’m impressed.” Susan poured herself a glass of orange juice. “You’ll have to give us the guided tour when you’re up and running.”

  Dorothy ignored the comment about the guided tour. “The flyers should be ready tomorrow.”

  “If you need any help handing them out this weekend, I can spare a few hours,” Charlie volunteered.

  “Yeah, me too.” Susan sat next to Dorothy. “I’d definitely be up for it.”

  “That’s—err—very kind of you both. I’ll mention it to Tilly.” She forced a yawn. “Anyway, I’m going to call it a day. Night, everyone.”

  Once in her bedroom, Dorothy cursed the day that human had turned up on their doorstep. How was she ever going to make a success of the new business while Susan was snooping around?

  ***

  As Neil climbed into bed, he was looking forward to an undisturbed night’s sleep. Confronting Getmore had been rather unnerving, and Neil was still a little worried that the ghost might seek some kind of revenge, but for now at least, he could enjoy having the bedroom all to himself. Since getting back from The Pillory, he hadn’t seen or heard anything from Mad Maggie or her band of reprobates. He hadn’t even seen Socky or Bella, but they were probably making up for lost time somewhere.

  Tucked up in bed, waiting for sleep to overtake him, he couldn’t help but grin when he thought about Dorothy, trying to butter him up by making him a cup of tea. She really must have been desperate for his help. He toyed with the idea of stringing it out for another day—maybe he could ask her to make breakfast for him. In the end, he decided against it. If he pushed her any further, he might find himself on the wrong end of her fangs.

  It was still dark when Neil stirred. Something had woken him, he was sure of that, but what was it? Had Maggie defied Socky, and returned to hold another party? No, it couldn’t be that—the room was too quiet. Maybe it had just been a bad dream.

  But wait. Dreams didn’t touch your back. And something or someone seemed to be running a finger down his back right now.

  He leapt out of bed and switched on the light.

  “Bella?”

  “Get back into bed. I’m cold in here all by myself.”

  There was little wonder that she was cold. Not only was she dead, but Neil was fairly certain she was stark naked beneath the covers.

  “What are you doing in my bed?” He glanced around. “Where’s Socky?”

  “Who?”

  “Tobias. Where is he?”

  “He’s fast asleep in the basement. Tobias is a
good man, but he doesn’t have much stamina; his best days are behind him. You, on the other hand, are still in your prime. Why don’t you climb in here beside me? You won’t regret it, I promise.”

  This could not be happening! Attractive as Bella might be, there was no way that Neil was getting down and dirty with a ghost. And besides, Socky would kill him.

  “Sorry, Bella.” He grabbed a pillow. “I have to—err—sorry.” He dashed out of the bedroom.

  Chapter 12

  The next morning, as soon as Dorothy stepped out of her bedroom, Susan shushed her.

  “What’s up?” Dorothy said, in little more than a whisper.

  “Neil’s asleep on the sofa.” Susan gestured to the sleeping figure.

  “How come?”

  “I guess his bedroom must still be too hot.”

  “I’m going up there!” Charlie came charging out of his bedroom. “I’m going to look around Amelia’s apartment.”

  Susan tried to shush him too, but it was too late, Neil was already awake.

  “Sorry, buddy,” Charlie said. “I didn’t realise you’d slept on the sofa again.”

  Neil sat up and wiped the sleep from his eyes. “What time is it?”

  Susan checked her watch. “Seven. How come you slept on the sofa again?”

  “I—err—it’s still too hot in my bedroom.”

  “You really should get the landlord to come and take a look at the heating. There’s obviously something wrong with it.”

  “Yeah, I will.” Neil turned to Charlie. “What were you just saying about Amelia?”

  “I’m going to take a look around her apartment. I’m sure she knows something about Pretty.”

  “Are you still going on about that stupid cat?” Dorothy rolled her eyes at him. “Why can’t you accept your feline friend has deserted you for some other mug who’s prepared to feed her?”

  “I don’t believe that. Something’s happened to her—I can sense it. And I’m sure Amelia has something to do with it.”

  “Do you realise how paranoid you sound?”

  “I don’t care. I have to be sure.”

  “How are you going to get into her apartment?” Susan said.

  “I’ve still got to figure that out. Hey, Dorothy, are you making tea?”

  “I was about to make myself a cup.”

  “I wouldn’t mind one, please.”

  “Me too,” Neil said.

  “And me.” Susan was parched.

  “What did your last slave die of?” Dorothy was beginning to regret the precedent she’d set the previous day.

  “I don’t suppose there’s any chance of a slice of toast, is there?” Neil stood up and stretched.

  “Only if you make it yourself.”

  Susan had to leave early, so she took her cup of tea through to her bedroom. She’d drink it while she was getting ready.

  “What happened last night?” Charlie said. “Did Mad Maggie come back?”

  “No. It was a bit warm in my bedroom.”

  “You’re a terrible liar,” Dorothy said. “What really happened?”

  “If you must know, I woke up to find Bella next to me in bed.”

  Dorothy laughed so hard that she almost spat out her tea. “Would that be Bella the ghost?”

  “Yeah. She was lying next to me, stark naked.”

  “This is too funny. So, what’s it like? Doing it with a ghost?”

  “Nothing happened. As soon as I realised she was there, I came out here on the sofa.”

  “Where was Socky?” Charlie said.

  “According to Bella, he was down in the basement.”

  “You really have jumped straight out of the frying pan and into the fire, haven’t you?” Dorothy drank the last dregs of her tea. “You get rid of Maggie and now you have Bella to contend with.”

  “It’s not the same thing. Maggie terrified me; I thought she might strangle me in my sleep.”

  “Yes, but you don’t know what Bella has in mind for you. I’ve heard ghosts can get very kinky.”

  “You haven’t forgotten that you want me to try and get you a van, have you?”

  “I’m only messing with you.”

  “What are you going to do?” Charlie said.

  “I’ve no idea. I can’t ask Bella to leave because if I do, Socky will bring Mad Maggie back. But if he finds out that Bella has been coming onto me, he’ll probably do that anyway.”

  “There is one obvious solution,” Dorothy said.

  “What’s that?”

  “You’ll have to sleep with her behind Socky’s back. It’s your only ghost of a chance.”

  “I suppose you think that’s funny?”

  ***

  Susan was on her way to Middle Tweaking, Dorothy was already upstairs in Tilly’s apartment, and Neil was staying at home to work on his new magic act.

  “Neil, can you help me get into Amelia’s apartment?” Charlie said.

  “Sorry, but I’m not prepared to get sent down for breaking and entering.”

  “I thought you could use magic to get me inside.”

  “How am I supposed to do that, exactly?”

  “I don’t know. You’re the wizard. Come on, buddy, I’m desperate.”

  Neil had lost track of the number of times Charlie had been there for him, and despite the fact that he didn’t understand his concern over a cat, he could tell his flatmate was really worried.

  “Okay, but I’m not prepared to go into her apartment.”

  “That’s okay. I just need you to get me inside.”

  “Fair enough. Listen up, this is how we’ll do it.”

  When Charlie heard Neil’s plan, he was terrified, but what choice did he have? Until he saw the inside of Amelia’s apartment for himself, he’d never settle.

  ***

  “What’s the plan for today?” Dorothy had just necked her cup of coffee.

  “Slow down.” Tilly yawned. “I haven’t woken up properly yet.”

  “I want to get started.”

  “Did you ask Neil about the van?”

  “I did and he’s going to talk to his pal, Ted. He’d better come up with something good because he’s making me pay big time for this favour. I even had to make him a cup of tea, yesterday.”

  “That must have stung. I spoke to that contact of Donny’s last night, and he made me a really good offer on five reconditioned fridges, so I went ahead and ordered them.”

  “Great. When will we get them?”

  “This morning.” Tilly checked her watch. “In an hour’s time, in fact. I’d better get ready because we need to be down at the unit to meet him.”

  “What about the flyers?”

  “They should be ready to collect by mid-morning. As soon as the fridges are in, we’ll nip into town to pick up the flyers, and then we can spend this afternoon handing them out.”

  “How soon do you think we’ll be able to start trading?”

  “It all depends on when we get the van. The blood isn’t a problem because I’ve got the supplier in Candlefield primed to start deliveries as soon as we give him the nod. Everything is coming together brilliantly.”

  “The only fly in the ointment is our human.”

  “Susan? Why, what has she done?”

  “She’s showing an unhealthy interest in our business venture. She wants to take a look around our unit.”

  “She can’t do that. At least, not after the blood has been delivered.”

  “Duh! I know that. Don’t worry about it. I’ll sort human-chops out.”

  ***

  “Are you sure you’ve done this before?” Charlie was feeling very nervous.

  “Dozens of times,” Neil reassured him.

  “Honestly?”

  “Well, maybe not dozens of times, but a few.”

  “How many is a few?”

  “Twice, to be precise.”

  “Is that all? Did it go okay?”

  “Mostly. The second time, at least.”

  “No
w you’re scaring me.”

  “We don’t have to do this.”

  “Yes, we do. I need to get inside that apartment to check for myself if Pretty is in there.”

  “Okay, then. Let’s do it.”

  “Wait. Can we run through it one more time?”

  “Again?” Neil sighed. “We’ve been through it a dozen times already.”

  “Just once more, please.”

  “Okay. When we get up there, I’ll shrink you to the size of a bug. Wait outside the door, and as soon as Amelia comes out, you scurry inside the apartment. Once you’re inside, and she’s gone, I’ll reverse the spell from out on the landing.”

  “What if she treads on me?”

  “You’ll have to make sure she doesn’t.”

  “How will I get out of there when I’ve finished?”

  “Come on, Charlie, we’ve been through this. Her apartment door is the same as ours. You’ll be able to unlock it from the inside, but you’ll have to listen at the door to make sure there’s no one around first.”

  “Can’t you stay there until I come out?”

  “No. I don’t want to stay up there for any longer than I have to. It’s going to look suspicious if anyone sees me loitering around. What time does she normally leave for work?”

  “In about ten minutes.”

  “Come on, then. We’d better get our skates on.”

  Just then, Neil’s phone rang. It was his friend, Ted, the car guy.

  “Neil, I got your voicemail asking me to call you. Don’t tell me you’ve wrecked your new motor already?”

  “No, it’s running like a dream. One of my flatmates, Dorothy, is starting her own business and she needs a small van. She asked if I’d give you a call to see if you had anything suitable.”

  “What kind of business is it?”

  “They’re going to be delivering blood to vampires.”

  “Gross!”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “Is she hot?”

  “She’s a nightmare, is what she is. Whatever you do, don’t sell her a lemon or she’ll probably tear your throat out.”

  “She can’t be all that bad.”