We Witch You A Merry Christmas - A Short Story Read online

  What was going on?

  My outer office was even more crowded. As well as the yarnies, there was a film crew from Wool TV. Standing centre stage was Grandma who appeared to be giving an interview to a young female reporter. I managed to make my way through the crowd to Mrs V.

  “What’s going on?”

  “What do you think? Your grandmother has taken over as usual. She turned up with the radio and TV crews in tow.”

  “How come you aren’t doing the interview?”

  “Grandma insisted it was more important that I stick with the knitting.”

  “Who are the EAWM Charitable Foundation? You didn’t mention them before.”

  “Haven’t you figured it out? It’s Ever A Wool Moment. I think your grandmother just made up the foundation.”

  I should have known. Anything for publicity—that was Grandma.

  “Jill! Come over here!” Speak of the—Grandma was beckoning me over to her. I didn’t like the look of this.

  “This is my granddaughter,” Grandma told the interviewer. The camera was still rolling. “She has been kind enough to provide these premises for the event.”

  “What do you think of what EAWM are doing here today?” the reporter asked me.

  “I think Mrs V and her yarnies—err—I mean friends—are doing a magnificent job.”

  “Yes, yes,” interrupted Grandma. “And of course, EAWM have provided our world famous Everlasting Wool and One-Sized knitting needles.”

  “A magnificent gesture, Jill, wouldn’t you say?” The reporter thrust the microphone at me.

  “Amazing.”

  I eventually managed to fight my way through to my office.

  “Do they want me to make an appearance?” Winky was desperate to get on TV.

  “Unlikely.”

  “Why not? I’m the star around here.”

  “That may be true, but the article is about providing needy children with a sock for Christmas.”

  “Stuff the needy children. What about my movie career?”

  “What movie career?”

  “The one I’m going to have when a Hollywood producer sees my face on TV.”

  “I’m not sure Hollywood producers watch Wool TV.”

  “You’d be surprised. From what I hear, a lot of them are into knitting in a big way.”

  Who knew?

  “I thought I’d find you hiding in here.” Grandma barged into my office and slammed the door closed behind her. Winky jumped so much he almost fell off the leather couch.

  “I’m not hiding,” I said. “This is my office in case you hadn’t noticed.”

  “You could have sounded a little more upbeat about the part the EAWM Charitable Foundation is playing here today.”

  I laughed. Big mistake.

  “What’s funny?” Her wart was glowing red.

  “Nothing.”

  “Do you usually laugh at nothing?”

  “I was just wondering when you dreamed up the EAWM Charitable Foundation. Looks to me like an excuse to get publicity for the shop.”

  Foot, mouth—when would I ever learn?

  “I’ll have you know that I take the foundation’s responsibilities very seriously.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really. Why else do you think I would have donated the wool and the knitting needles?”

  “So it has nothing to do with the publicity?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Is that why you had that enormous banner printed and hung outside?”

  “You have a lot of your mother in you. Darlene always had way too much to say for herself.”

  “Is there any wonder, mother?” My mother’s ghost had appeared next to the sofa. Winky hissed, and dived under my desk.

  “I might have known you’d show up.” Grandma sneered. “You two.” She pointed a crooked finger at us. “You’re like two peas in a pod.” She made to leave. “I don’t have time to stand here and argue. I have a radio interview in a few minutes.”

  “She drives me crazy,” I said to my mother once we were alone.

  “Tell me about it. Just imagine having her for a mother.”

  “I’m glad I’ve got you.” I smiled.

  “That’s sweet.”

  “Will you be at Aunt Lucy’s for Christmas dinner?” I said.

  She frowned. “I’m really sorry, Jill, but I promised Alberto we’d visit his family on Christmas Day. He doesn’t ask much of me, and I felt—”

  “It’s okay, honestly. I understand.”

  “I do have a present for you though.” She pulled a tiny gift-wrapped parcel seemingly out of thin air. “Here.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You can’t open it until Christmas Day though. Promise?”

  “I promise.”

  “Okay. Well I’d better get back. Alberto has some last minute shopping to do. Take care of yourself, and don’t let Grandma wear you down.”

  “I won’t. Thanks.”

  With that, she disappeared.

  Although I’d made her a promise, I’d never been very good at the whole ‘not opening presents’ thing. When I was a kid, I used to search the house to try and find my Christmas presents. Maybe I could just sneak a peek.

  “Oh no you don’t!” My mother’s voice came from nowhere.

  Chapter 6

  I woke up the next morning to find a thick covering of snow in Washbridge. Maybe I would get two white Christmases after all. Fortunately, I now had the ‘Eskimo’ outfit which Grandma had magicked for me. That reminded me—I still owed Grandma a favour. She’d never mentioned it since the day at Cuppy C, but I wasn’t naive enough to believe she’d forgotten about it. You could be sure it would be something truly awful.

  I’d already bought a model aeroplane for Mikey for Christmas, but I still had to get something for Lizzie. I really didn’t want to have to ask Kathy, but what choice did I have? I gave her a call.

  “It’s me.”

  “Morning.”

  “Am I forgiven yet?”

  “No.”

  Great.

  “I still need to get Lizzie a present for Christmas,” I said.

  “I’ve already bought her something from you. An Angel Hairdresser Salon.”

  “That sounds good.”

  “It cost seventy pounds.”

  How much!?!?

  “That’s great. I’ll let you have the cash. I guess she’ll be pleased with that?”

  “It’s a poor consolation prize.”

  “Right. Sorry.”

  “Do you want to make up a little for the Total Dream Office?”

  “Yes. What can I do?”

  “Pete’s away on his course, and I can’t get the car out because of the snow. I can pick Lizzie up from school, but Mikey is finishing later than usual because it’s his class’s Christmas party. Could you go and collect him at about four?”

  “Sure. No problem. I imagine he’s excited about the party?”

  “I think so, but Santa is going to be there, and you know how he feels about that. Especially after the Grimshaws incident.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll collect him.”

  So, Santa was going to be at Mikey’s class’s Christmas party. Maybe this was my chance to redeem myself—at least a little.

  ***

  I spent ages deciding what to wear for my lunch date with Drake. In the end, I went for a turquoise dress which I’d bought over a year before, but never actually got around to wearing. I managed to dig my car out in no time thanks to a little help from the ‘power’ spell. Sometimes I loved being a witch.

  Temperature was a small restaurant which was hugely popular with young professionals. What? I’m young. And I’m definitely professional. It was the one place I knew I could always get a table. Simon, the owner, always held a few tables back for VIPs. Not that I was a VIP, but my dad had helped him out big time when Simon’s original partner had been embezzling funds out of the business. Simon had told my dad he would always have a table fo
r him, and he had extended that promise to me after my dad died.

  When I arrived at the restaurant, Simon was standing just inside the door next to the young woman who was allocating tables.

  “Hi, Simon.” I managed as I struggled out of my Eskimo coat.

  “Jill. Nice to see you. It’s been a while.”

  “I’ve been quite busy.” But mainly broke. “I have a table booked.”

  “So I see. I was just talking to Tanya about your booking.”

  Oh no. Don’t tell me they don’t have a table. “Is there a problem? My PA rang through the booking.”

  “We have the booking.”

  “So, what’s wrong?”

  “We actually have two bookings for you.”

  “That’s right. One for today and one for tomorrow.” I smiled. “I know it was a bit cheeky booking on two consecutive days.”

  “Actually no.”

  “No?”

  “You have two bookings for today. But none for tomorrow.”

  “Two?”

  He nodded.

  “For today?”

  He nodded. “The two gentlemen arrived within a few minutes of each other. We weren’t sure what to do, so we put them on separate tables at opposite ends of the restaurant.”

  How on earth had that happened? Mrs V must have been so stressed with her knitting project that she’d mixed up the days. Oh bum!

  “Which one of them arrived first?”

  “The gentleman seated over there—in the corner.”

  “Hi, Drake,” I said.

  “You’re looking exceptionally beautiful today, Jill.” He flashed his trademark smile.

  “Thank you.”

  “Are you okay?” He looked concerned. “Your voice sounds a little rough.”

  I nodded. “Just a bit of a sore throat.” In fact, I daren’t speak any louder in case Jack heard me.

  “How did you manage to get a table in here this close to Christmas?”

  “The owner was a friend of my father’s.” I passed Drake one of the menus I’d collected from Simon. “Shall we order? I’m rather hungry.”

  I called the waitress—a young woman with a pleasant smile.

  “Tomato soup for me, please,” I said.

  Drake ordered the same.

  “What are your plans for Christmas?” Drake asked.

  “Sorry. Would you excuse me for a minute? I have to—err—make a call.”

  “Sure.”

  I scuttled across the restaurant to a small booth at the opposite side.

  “Jack. Sorry I’m late.”

  “No problem. I’ve only been here a few minutes. I’m surprised you managed to get a table here this close to Christmas.”

  “The owner is a friend.”

  “Would you like a drink?”

  I’d left my wine on the other table.

  “Just water. Shall we order?”

  I signalled to the same waitress. She gave me a knowing smile. “Tomato soup?”

  “Err—yes, please.”

  Jack ordered the same.

  “How’s business?” He took a sip of wine.

  “Quite good,” I lied. “How about you?”

  “Well, you know. I—”

  “Sorry, Jack. I just remembered there’s an urgent call I have to make.”

  “Oh? Okay.”

  “Your soup is getting cold,” Drake said. He was halfway down his.

  “Sorry about that.”

  The tomato soup was delicious. I’d just finished it when I spotted the waitress with two more soups—headed in the opposite direction.

  “How’s Barry?” Drake asked.

  “He’s got over his fear of snow. Talking of which, it looks like you brought the Candlefield weather with you.”

  “Tell me about it. I hate snow. I’ve promised to visit my mother on Christmas Day. I hope the roads have improved by then or I’ll have to resort to magic.”

  At least now I knew there was no point in inviting him to Aunt Lucy’s for Christmas dinner.

  “Excuse me, Drake. I need the loo.”

  “Soup’s just arrived,” Jack said. “It’s very good.”

  I took a slurp. “Delicious.”

  “Are you spending the Christmas break with Kathy?” he asked.

  “Only Christmas Eve. I’m going to visit my other family on Christmas Day.”

  “Where is it they live again? Candletown?”

  “Candlefield.”

  “I still haven’t been able to figure out where that is.”

  “Up north.” I’d made the mistake of mentioning Candlefield to Jack Maxwell before I realised that I had to keep such information from humans. “What about you?”

  “I’m going back home to see my parents too. That’s always assuming I can get there. The weather isn’t looking too promising.”

  “I need the loo. Will you excuse me?”

  “I think I’ll go with the traditional turkey lunch.” Drake had been studying the menu.

  “I’ll have the same.” I caught the waitress’s eye.

  “You really must learn to relax more,” Drake said. “It’s the Christmas holiday. You should be winding down.”

  “I am relaxed.”

  “Really? You seem as tightly wound as a spring. Maybe if you turned off your phone?”

  “I’d love to, but there’s a couple of urgent cases I’m working on right now.”

  “Will you be in Candlefield over the Christmas break?”

  “I’m having Christmas dinner at Aunt Lucy’s.”

  “That’ll be nice.”

  “Grandma will be there.”

  “Not so nice then.”

  “Maybe if we ply her with drink, she’ll fall asleep.” I twiddled the fork in my hand. “Sorry, I really need to check back with Mrs V.”

  “Oh?”

  “I’ll only be a minute.”

  I rushed back to Jack.

  “Where did that come from?” Jack had a puzzled look on his face.

  “What?”

  “The fork?”

  “This? Oh, I noticed the one they’d given me had a mark on it, so I picked up another while I was passing.”

  Jack eyed me curiously as I replaced the offending cutlery.

  “Turkey lunch for me,” he said, after a quick look at the menu.

  “Same for me.”

  “I noticed a banner hanging from your office window this morning on my way over,” he said.

  “Mrs V is knitting socks for the local children’s home. My grandmother has got involved, and her charitable foundation is sponsoring it.”

  “You never mentioned your grandmother had a charitable foundation.”

  “It’s a recent development.” I took out my phone, and stared at the blank screen. “Sorry. Urgent message. I have to deal with this. I’ll only be a minute.”

  Turkey lunch was waiting for me back at Drake’s table.

  “Everything alright?” he said.

  “Err—yes. I seem to have lost my fork.” I signalled to the waitress who by now was struggling not to laugh. “Could I get another fork?”

  After two bowls of soup and two turkey lunches—I was well and truly stuffed.

  “Drake, I’m really sorry, but I don’t think I can face dessert. I’m feeling a little queasy.”

  “Oh dear.” His concern made me feel even more guilty.

  “Do you mind if we call it a day?” I said. “I’ll have them put this on my tab.”

  “I won’t hear of it. This is my treat. Shall I walk you back to your car?”

  “No. No. It’s okay. I’ll be alright once I’m out in the fresh air. Have a great Christmas, and I’m sorry about this.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” I heard him say as I rushed back to Jack.

  “I think I’m going to have the blueberry cheesecake,” Jack said.

  “Look, Jack. I’m feeling a bit queasy. I’m going to have to call it quits.”

  “Oh, alright. I’ll come with you then.”
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  “No, no. Please stay and order dessert. I’ll be fine once I’m outside. Have a great Christmas, and don’t worry about the bill. I’ll see to it.”

  “Nonsense. This is my treat.”

  “Okay, thanks. Sorry again.”

  What a nightmare!

  Once outside, I headed across the road and took shelter in the doorway of a vacant shop. From there, I could see inside the restaurant. Jack was standing next to the pay-desk. Moments later, Drake appeared behind him. Jack turned around and the two men stared at one another.

  ***

  As I walked past Ever A Wool Moment, I noticed the posters in the window for ‘Ever’s’ Christmas party. It didn’t look like just any old party. Sure, there would be food, drinks, games and prizes. But the main attraction, according to the poster, was an appearance by Martin Laslo—last year’s winner of the Talent Factor, the annual TV talent show. As you might imagine, I wasn’t a fan of such shows, but Kathy was—big time. She insisted on telling me all about it—like I cared. And even worse, she showed me clips on YouTube. Anyhow, she’d been absolutely crazy for Martin Laslo. One day while I was at her house, Peter had a right go at her for sending sixty texts to vote for him. How on earth had Grandma got him to agree to appear at her Christmas party?

  Chapter 7

  The TV and radio crews had left, and so had half of Mrs V’s yarnies. She looked tired and drawn.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m worried we might not make the target. I don’t want to let the kids down.”

  “I’m sure you’ll do it. Where have the others gone?”

  “Not everyone is used to marathon sessions like me. Quite a few of them have ailments, so they can’t keep up the pace for too long.” She sighed. “What will I tell the people at the children’s home if we don’t make it?”

  “Don’t worry about that. Just concentrate on your knitting. You still have plenty of time.”

  “You could join us,” she said. “You must be building up your knitting speed by now.”

  Mrs V had bought me a beginner’s knitting kit some months ago. Rather than hurt her feelings, I’d lied and told her I was using it regularly at home. In fact, I’d only ever attempted it once, and I’d got into such a mess with dropped stitches that I’d vowed never to knit again.