Witch is How The Dice Fell Read online

  “I’m listening.”

  “Hello, you three.” Aunt Lucy appeared at the table. “What are you plotting?”

  “Nothing,” Pearl said. “We’re just chatting.”

  “Come and join us.” I tapped the chair next to me.

  “Thank you, Jill.”

  “Why don’t you go and get your mum a drink?” I said.

  “Fine!” Amber stood up. “Tea, I assume?”

  “That would be lovely.”

  “Have you asked Jill about the circus?” Aunt Lucy said.

  “She won’t want to come with us.” Pearl rolled her eyes. “Have you forgotten? She’s afraid of clowns.”

  “I’m not afraid of them,” I protested.

  “Not afraid of what?” Amber was back.

  Aunt Lucy took the cup of tea from her. “I was asking Pearl if you two had asked Jill if she wanted to come to the circus with us.”

  “You should definitely come,” Amber said. “Pearl and I are going.”

  “What about the little ones?”

  “They’re a bit too young.”

  “I’m going too.” Aunt Lucy took a sip of tea. “And you don’t need to worry about the clowns because I read an article in The Candle that said the clown troupe had quit Candlefield Circus.”

  “I’m not scared of them anyway.”

  “Will you come, then?”

  “Sure, why not? When is it?”

  “A week on Wednesday.”

  “Okay. Count me in.” I turned to the twins. “You were going to ask me something before Aunt Lucy arrived.”

  “Yeah.” Pearl nodded. “Amber and I have been talking, haven’t we?”

  “And the guys too,” Amber said.

  “We all agree it would be for the best, don’t we, Amber?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. I was having a much more intelligent conversation with my cat just before I came over here.”

  “You discuss your business’s finances with your cat?” Pearl raised an eyebrow.

  “Never mind that. What is it that you’ve all been discussing?”

  The twins each seemed to be waiting for the other one to speak up; it was Amber who finally cracked. “We’re all agreed that it would be a good thing if Lil and Lily were to grow up knowing both the sup and human worlds. That’s why we intend to take them on regular visits there. Starting right now.”

  “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” Aunt Lucy said. “They’re still very young.”

  “We knew that’s what you’d say, Mum,” Pearl said. “That’s why we weren’t going to tell you until it was all arranged.”

  “Actually, I think the twins are right,” I chipped in. “It’ll be much easier for their two girls to adapt to life in the human world when they’re adults if they’ve been used to visiting there regularly.”

  “Thank you, Jill.” Pearl beamed. “See, Mum, Jill thinks it’s a good idea too.”

  “You all seem to be assuming the girls will want to go to the human world when they grow up. Not all sups do. Some prefer to stay here in Candlefield.”

  “Like you, you mean?” Amber snapped. “That’s why you never took us there, isn’t it? And it’s why we’re stuck here now.”

  “I’m sorry I was such a terrible mother.” Aunt Lucy was clearly upset.

  “I never said that, Mum.” Amber tried to backtrack.

  “It’s alright.” Aunt Lucy stood up. “My opinion is clearly not wanted here.”

  “Aunt Lucy, wait.” I tried to grab her hand, but she pulled away.

  “It’s alright. I have a lot to do today. I’ll see you all later.”

  Oh bum!

  “That’s why we didn’t want to say anything in front of her.” Amber sighed. “We knew how she’d react.”

  “I’m sure she’ll come around,” I said. “She just needs time to get used to the idea. To be honest, I think she finds the human world a little scary.”

  “Precisely,” Amber said. “And that’s why we don’t want our kids to grow up afraid of it.”

  “For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing the right thing.”

  “We were hoping you’d say that, weren’t we, Pearl?”

  “Yeah, that makes it easier for us to ask you.”

  “Ask me what?”

  “We were thinking we might start by taking the girls over to the human world next weekend, and we were kind of hoping—” Her words trailed away.

  “Hoping what?” That’s when I realised I’d sealed my own fate. “That you could stay at my place?”

  “Thanks, Jill,” Pearl said. “It would only be for the one night. You won’t even know we’re there. We thought we’d take the kids around Washbridge on Saturday, and then go back to yours in the evening. We’d just need you to pick us up from Washbridge. And we’ll leave on Sunday morning. We won’t be any trouble, I promise.”

  “Please say yes, Jill,” Amber pleaded.

  “You did say you thought that it was a good idea.” Pearl reminded me.

  “Okay, but I can’t promise to do this every time you come over if this is going to be a regular thing.”

  “That’s okay. We’ll look out for a cheap hotel that we can use, if you aren’t able to put us up in future.”

  “It’s going to be so great!” Pearl gushed.

  Oh boy.

  A few minutes later, the twins said their goodbyes, and set off on their shopping expedition. What had I just done? How had I allowed myself to agree to letting them stay the night? If I’d had my wits about me, I would have realised where the conversation was headed, and I could have sided with Aunt Lucy.

  While I was in Cuppy C, I decided to take another look at the creche. I was still feeling a little uneasy about what I’d witnessed on my earlier visit. Maybe a second visit would put my mind at ease.

  Just like last time, there were no sounds coming from the creche as I made my way upstairs. I was probably worrying about nothing. Maybe it was just that Belladonna had managed to create an incredibly relaxed atmosphere that fostered a calmness in both the children and their parents.

  As I approached the creche, I could see that they were all fast asleep: the children and their parents. In fact, the only person not sleeping was Belladonna who was in a chair, reading a book. She gave me a little wave, and came over to join me.

  “Nice to see you again, Jill. Did you want something?”

  “Err, no. I’ve just had a drink with the twins, and I thought I’d pop up to see how things were going.”

  “It’s all going splendidly so far.”

  “Everyone’s asleep?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Isn’t that a little strange?”

  “Not really. If you’d been here half an hour ago, you’d have seen all the little ones running around. They’ve tired themselves out, so now they’re having a rest.”

  “What about their parents?”

  “Bringing up a youngster can be pretty tiring; you have to grab your sleep when you can. Would you like to stay a while until they wake up?”

  “Err, no thanks, I’d better get going.”

  “Okay. Pop in anytime.”

  This couldn’t be right, could it? On my first visit, the children had all been behaving like little angels; not a single tantrum to be seen. And this time, all of the kids and their parents were fast asleep. Did the twins know what was going on in their creche?

  ***

  It was late afternoon when Mrs V came through to my office.

  “A woman dropped this off just now.” She held out a small, white envelope.

  “Who was she?”

  “I don’t know, dear. She rushed in and out so quickly that I didn’t have the chance to ask her.”

  “Okay, thanks. How’s the whistling going?”

  “He hasn’t done it once all afternoon.”

  “That is good news. Perhaps it was just his nerves.”

  “Hmm.” She sigh
ed. “It’s not just the whistling, I’m afraid.”

  “What else is he doing?”

  “It’ll sound like I’m deliberately picking fault with him, and I’m not, honestly.”

  “What’s he done?”

  “Every time I’ve looked at him this afternoon, he’s had a finger up his nostril.”

  “Picking his nose?”

  “Yes, but I really shouldn’t complain about him because he’s just sponsored me for the hula hoop event. One penny a minute.”

  “That was very nice of him.” One penny? What a tightwad.

  I tore open the envelope to find an invitation to a gathering of W.O.W. ladies at the house of Charlotte Greenmuch. According to the note, there was to be a small get together at her house on Friday. Tea and cake would be provided.

  Normally, I would have avoided that kind of thing like the plague, but as a new member of W.O.W, I felt I should show my face at at least one or two of these functions. And besides, the invitation had included the magic word: cake.

  There was no request for me to RSVP, so presumably I should just show up on the day. Maybe Grandma would be there too. I could always hope not.

  ***

  By the time I’d wrapped up for the day, Mrs V had already left. Alistair, though, was still busy at his desk.

  “You should have gone home by now, Alistair.”

  “I’d like to get this section finished before I leave.” Thankfully, he removed his finger from his nostril before he spoke to me.

  “Did you change your tie?” I pointed to the blue tie with a picture of an elephant on it.

  “Err, yeah. I spilt coffee on the other one.”

  “Don’t stay too late, and remember to lock up when you leave.”

  “Will do.”

  I couldn’t fault the guy’s enthusiasm. I’d just have to hope that his annoying little habits were a temporary blip brought on by first day nerves.

  ***

  As soon as I pulled onto the drive, I spotted it in the Livelys’ front garden. Mr Hosey might be able to fool most people with his new high-tech surveillance tree, but he couldn’t fool me.

  “This is a vast improvement, Mr Hosey. It’s much more realistic than the previous one.” He didn’t reply; he was obviously afraid of giving himself away to other passers-by. “It must have cost you an arm and a leg.”

  “Are you okay, err—?”

  I turned around to find Britt and Kit standing behind me.

  “Her name’s Jill.” Kit prompted his wife.

  “Sorry, of course it is. Are you okay, Jill?”

  “Yes, thanks.”

  “It’s just that it looked like you were talking to our new tree?”

  “Your tree?”

  “We thought the front garden looked a little bare, so we had it planted this afternoon,” Kit said. “Do you like it?”

  “Yes, I was just admiring it.” I patted the trunk. “You’re a real beauty.”

  Just then, Lovely began to weave in-between my legs. If the Livelys hadn’t been standing there, I would have shooed her away, but to be polite, I bent down and gave her a stroke.

  “Where’s Winky?” Lovely asked me.

  “He’s back at the office.”

  “Who’s back at the office?” Kit said.

  Oh bum! What was I thinking? “Err, Jack is back at the office. In case you were wondering where he was.”

  “Right?”

  “I’d better get going. It’s my turn to make dinner. Catch you later.”

  When I got inside the house, I glanced through the window. The Livelys were still in the front garden, no doubt discussing their crazy neighbour who not only liked to get naked in the back garden, but also talked to trees and cats.

  Chapter 4

  “Do you think we should buy some toys before they come?” Jack was eating a banana for breakfast.

  Ever since I’d told him that the twins and their little ones would be staying over on Saturday night, he’d been buzzing with excitement.

  “I don’t think that’s necessary. They’ll only be here overnight, and I’m sure the twins will bring the babies’ favourite teddy bears or cuddly giraffes with them.”

  “No one has a cuddly giraffe.”

  “I did. His name was Neckie.”

  “You’ve just made that up.”

  “It’s true. Ask Kathy the next time you see her.”

  “Do you still have him?”

  “Neckie? Of course I don’t. I threw him away when I was a teenager.”

  “How could you do that? I still have Kidney.”

  “Kidney?” I laughed. “What on earth was Kidney?”

  “A teddy bear. My parents gave him to me when I was two or three years old.”

  “Why did you call him Kidney?”

  “His name was supposed to be Sidney, but for some reason I always pronounced it as Kidney and the name just stuck.”

  “How come I’ve never seen him?”

  “He’s in one of the drawers in my bedside cabinet. The one in the spare room.”

  “Aww, that’s so sweet. Do you go and give him a cuddle every now and then?”

  “See, this is precisely why I’ve never mentioned Kidney to you before. Have you given any thought to where the twins and the babies are going to sleep on Saturday night?”

  “I hadn’t really thought about it. In the lounge I suppose.”

  “They’re our guests. You can’t expect them to sleep in the lounge.”

  “Guests are people that you’ve invited to stay. They invited themselves.”

  “Even so, we can’t let them sleep downstairs. They can have our bedroom and we’ll sleep down here.”

  “Are you insane? I’m not sleeping on a sofa. We’ll have to clear out the spare bedroom before weekend. The twins can have that.”

  “What will we do with my furniture?”

  “We can throw it all away. Or burn it.”

  “No way. I love that furniture. We’ll have to put it in storage.”

  “That’ll cost a small fortune. There is another option, but it would require a waiver of the no-magic pact.”

  “What do you have in mind?”

  “I could shrink it. That way we could store it in something like a shoebox until the twins have left, then I’ll magic it back to its normal size.”

  “That sounds like a plan.”

  “Yes, but we did say we wouldn’t break the no-magic pact unless it was an emergency. I’m not sure this qualifies.”

  “So you’d rather pay the storage fees, would you?”

  “I’ll shrink the furniture.”

  “What time are the twins actually coming to the house?”

  “They’re going shopping in Washbridge during the day, and they’ll give us a call when they want us to pick them up. Talking of magic, don’t forget that the twins don’t know that you know about me.”

  “I know they don’t know that I know. But you already know that.”

  “Could you repeat that?”

  “Probably not.”

  After Jack had finished his banana and I’d eaten my cornflakes, we took our coffee through to the lounge.

  “I never got around to asking you last night. How’s the new office manager settling in?”

  “Okay, so far. He seems very industrious.”

  “Is he getting on alright with Mrs V?”

  “More or less, I suppose.”

  “You don’t sound too sure.”

  “Everyone has annoying habits, don’t they?”

  “What does he do?”

  “Whistles. A lot.”

  “That’s not so bad.”

  “And picks his nose.”

  “Yuk.”

  “It’s probably just the initial nerves. He does seem to share Mrs V’s love of clowns, though.”

  “I bet you’re thrilled about that.”

  “He’s sponsored her too.”

  “Sponsored her to do what? Another knitathon?”

  “No. She and
the other yarnies are going to be hula hooping.”

  “Isn’t that dangerous at their age?”

  “You’d better not let Mrs V hear you say that. She bit my head off when I suggested that it was a strange choice of event for seniors.”

  “I hope you’ve sponsored her.”

  “We both have.”

  “Both, as in you and me?”

  “Yeah. I knew you’d want to get involved.”

  “I do, but I remember what happened the last time you talked me into sponsoring something. It ended up costing me a small fortune.”

  “There’s nothing to worry about this time. After all, how long can Mrs V possibly keep a hula hoop going? The most it will cost us will be a fiver each.”

  “Fair enough.” He walked over to the window. “Did you see that the Livelys have planted a tree in their front garden?”

  “Have they? I hadn’t noticed.”

  What? I wasn’t about to let Jack know what a fool I’d made of myself.

  When I was ready to leave, Jack was still in the lounge, scribbling notes in his TenPinCon file.

  I popped my head around the door. “Aren’t you going to be late for work?”

  “There’s so much to do for this con. It was bad enough being the creative director; I should never have agreed to look after the marketing too.”

  “What have you come up with so far?”

  “Zilch. I don’t have a clue where to start.”

  “You’ll just have to tell Tony and Clare that you can’t do it.”

  “I can’t let them down now.” Suddenly, his face lit up. “I’ve had an idea.”

  “There, I knew you’d come up with something.”

  “Your grandmother could help.”

  “Grandma?”

  “You’re always saying she’s a marketing genius.”

  “And she is, but what makes you think she’d agree to help you?”

  “She’d help you if you asked.”

  “No, she wouldn’t, and besides, I’m not getting involved.”

  He stood up, pulled me into his arms, and gave me a kiss. “There must be something I can do to change your mind.”

  “That’s not going to work, buddy.” I pushed him gently away.

  “Please, Jill. I’m desperate. Won’t you at least speak to her?”